Online commenters have bashed a bride who purportedly said she didn’t want to include her pregnant maid of honor in her wedding photos.
Posting in Reddit’s “Am I The A******” (AITA) forum under the username u/ColdAlfalfa1554, the maid of honor said she ultimately dropped out of the wedding party as a result of the bride’s decision, and their friendship is likely over. The post has garnered over 11,000 upvotes and more than 2,000 comments. You can read the full post here.
According to Julie Blais Comeau, chief etiquette officer at etiquettejulie.com, u/ColdAlfalfa1554’s story isn’t unique.
“I’ve gotten so many emails about situations like [u/ColdAlfalfa1554’s]and it breaks up friendships [and] families [and] the relationships are very hard to repair afterward. It’s very, very sad,” Comeau told Newsweek.
“[Couples] need to remember the purpose of the wedding and the trust, respect [and] admiration [they] already have when [they] ask someone to join [them] on that special day,” Comeau continued. “So, should be a member [of the wedding party] become pregnant or have a personal situation like maybe a bankruptcy or the loss of a job, [couples should] still honor that person for what he or she is.”
In her post, u/ColdAlfalfa1554 said she and the bride had been friends for nearly 20 years. And for the last two of those years, the friends have been hard at work planning the bride-to-be’s wedding.
Despite the “controlling” bride’s perfectionistic tendencies, u/ColdAlfalfa1554 said the planning process was going well. That is until she discovered she was pregnant with her “miracle baby.”
“I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of October and am due toward the end of June. This is my first baby, and I have struggled heavily with fertility issues, so this is a literal miracle baby,” u/ColdAlfalfa1554 said.
“Well, I told my best friend [the news] last week, and she seemed upset. She wasn’t too happy that I was pregnant, and her first question [was] if I would fit in my bridesmaid dress,” u/ColdAlfalfa1554 continued, adding that the bride didn’t congratulate her.
Redditor u/ColdAlfalfa1554 did her best to “shrug it off,” but things got progressively worse.
“Her bachelorette party is next month (I’ve been exclusively planning it), so I just reached out [to her] with the final details to confirm everything. During the phone call, she tried to make me feel bad that I wouldn’t be drinking with the rest of them,” u/ColdAlfalfa1554 wrote.
Then, on Thursday, the bride called u/ColdAlfalfa1554 and told her she wouldn’t be included in any of the wedding photos because her bump would be “too distracting.”
“However, she still wanted me to pay for the bachelorette party, help her plan the wedding, and wanted me to do almost everything [the] MOH [does] except be in pictures, and she was debating if she still wanted me to give a speech. She then sent me a bunch of bag-like dresses to choose from as my new dress since I won’t need my MOH dress,” u/ColdAlfalfa1554 said.
In the end, the two had a long conversation that ended in u/ColdAlfalfa1554 stepping down as maid of honor. In response, the bride uninvited her from the wedding altogether.
Redditor u/ColdAlfalfa1554 asked the forum if she had been wrong to drop out of the wedding party, and commenters responded with a resounding “no.”
“Hard decision for her but SO DANG EASY for you, right? A wedding is a blip. Being a mom is for the rest of your life. Congratulations, OP! So happy for you and your husband! NTA [not the a******],” u/Runns_withScissors said.
“Not only would I drop out of the wedding but I’d drop out of this farce of a friendship. No friend worth having would have responded to your happy news with anything less than genuine excitement for you,” u/NUT-me- SHELL wrote.
“NTA. [The bride] is an awful person. I’m so sorry this is how and when you’re finding out. Congratulations (on the pregnancy, not the AH friend),” u/DangerLime113 added.
Comeau also believes it’s okay for bridesmaids to step down from their roles, but reminds them to do so “as soon as possible” and, ideally, face-to-face.
Newsweek reached out to u/ColdAlfalfa1554 for comments. We could not verify the details of this case.
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